How fear of failure causes procrastination

Today something happens that was supposed to never happen again.

The second part of a legendary conversation with myself. One Tobi is the Tobi with a brain and the other Tobi is the one who urgently needs therapy.

In this blog post you will find out what I did in 2021 and how fear of failure causes procrastination.

In order for you to understand all these connections perfectly, I strongly recommend you to read the first part first. Otherwise lot’s of it won’t make sense.

I can only promise you so much, you will feel a mixture of shame, humor, despair, dislike and sadness, maybe even schadenfreude if you are a malicious person.

And the worst thing that can happen to you is that you might recognize yourself in these lines. If so, I hope I can show you that you are not alone and that there is a way out.

(click here to read it in color)

(click here if you prefer listening)

_______________________________________________________________

Tooooobi, great to see you how are you my best friend?

I’m fine what about you?

Don’t lie to me in the first sentence idiot, I am you, I know very well that you are not ‘fine’. 🀣

Wow, the conversation just started and you are already insulting, great.

Funny when we consider what is about to come, huh?

No comment.

Last time when we had this conversation it was almost exactly one year ago December 8, 2020. What happened since then? How was your year 2021? How much did you grow your online business? How much progress did you see in your life in general?

Can we please not do this whole thing here, please?

You obviously have not wanted it any other way, so stop whining and talk.

What can I say I fucked up okay. You can say that I procrastinated the whole year and made almost no progress in my online business.

In my private life I have also made only limited progress. So not much has changed there either – sure, I’ve met one or two new people. Some things are also slightly painfully broken but whatever.

I am only very proud of myself this year in the areas of spiritual development. I have dealt a lot with the spiritual technology and quantum physics and further positively reprogrammed my subconscious.

Indirectly or directly this has a lot to do with mindset and that in turn is important for an online business. At least something, right?

Interesting. However I’m confused I assume after we revealed the whole truth about your stupidity last year, you knew exactly what you are doing wrong and whats preventing you from having real success online and you were extremely motivated to do better I thought?

Well…

I mean did I scream at you for nothing?

That doesn’t help.

Is there even a possibility to help someone like you or is it all too late?

Are you done now? Can I go?

Hahaha I’m just getting started. Let’s start chronologically. What did you do the rest of December and then in January after we had our last conversation and you were now determined to promote your 3rd business opportunity?

Isn’t it totally pointless if you ask me these questions although you are me and therefore already know the answers?

I am not you, because I have a brain, now shut up and respond!

πŸ™„ The first thing that happened is that business opportunity 2, with which I had earned quite a lot, was closed in mid-December.Β 

But that wasn’t too much of a problem for you because you had chosen number 3 anyway, right?

Yes that’s true but I have to say that I didn’t really do anything in that direction during the rest of December. Instead I got a bit more involved with crypto and invested in a quite promising token for the first time.

And why did you go back to other things?

What do I know you saw how messed up I was after our last conversation. These crypto stories were just a bit more interesting than…

than focusing on one thing and putting in the work in order to earn a fulltime income online?

Hmm.

But it was not only my fault first of all I was promised a traffic delivery as a bonus for my investment in number 3 which I waited for and never got due to technical reasons, secondly I was waiting for my package from this company which I also got much later this year and thirdly I probably lacked a bit of faith that I would have serious success with it.

It was still a quite new marketing funnel and I wanted to see first how far other members are successful. That aside, I generated some clicks and leads but no sales.

But luckily, despite these facts, you are smart and wise enough not to give up right away and still focus on this thing and didn’t do anything else weird in January right?

I bought a new affiliate marketing course about memes.

EXACTLY! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ MISTER SUPER CLEVER IS BACK AND HE DID IT ONCE AGAIN! 🀣🀣🀣

Very funny.

I’m sure that this time your investment of $150 was extremely worthwhile and you were able to build a successful business with the help of this course, right?

Unfortunately not because the course was firstly quite new and the founder wasn’t even done creating the course yet. I only got very early access and now 12 months later still not all video modules are completed.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ This is what you did and why you have been procrastinating this whole year? You waited 12 months until it’s finished, mister super clever? 🀣🀣🀣

No! I mean yes. I mean no! Stop laughing. I just love memes and thought it’s a good idea for marketing, OK?! I didn’t know that I have to wait a year for this damn thing to be created fully.

You ‘thought’. 🀣 I mean seriously why am I even talking with you when you are obviously full of shit.

Thanks.

The point is that you were buying once again something else instead of focusing on what you already have. You know because of your past that you are doing it wrong and yet you do it over and over again. Congratulations!

And as if that wasn’t enough, you still find reasons why something doesn’t work or why you can’t do something. Even your incomplete course that you bought could still have brought you something with the information you already had but in your mind and in your behavior you are your own worst enemy.

Okay. At least I did something great in February and you can’t take that away from me with your meanness.

Lol, I’m not mean. It’s just the sad reality that you are a clown. 🀑

Pfff.

But no problem tell everyone what you did in February.

I invested into Omni* a very promising new social media app for the future and made already lots of gains doing that. Who knows maybe I’ll be a millionaire some day.

HAHAHA, of course mister super clever is going to be a millionaire! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

(*Update June 2022: ‘The very promising new social media app’ was unexpectedly canceled. That was two months ago and I’m still kinda shocked – just another funny sad story of my life haha)

Tzz you won’t get any money from me that’s for sure.

I’m only living inside your head, the small and rare part with brain cells, forgot about that? I certainly don’t need ‘your money’.

Blablabla.

Let’s move on what happened the following months? March, April, May, June, July etc.?

I can’t tell you.

Why? It’s a simple question. How did you grow your business, what did you do?

GOSH I ALREADY TOLD YOU: NOTHING! OKAY FUCKING NOTHING! I’M SICK OF THIS CONVERSATION.

No, that’s not true, don’t be so hard to yourself, of course you did something. Almost every single day you were in front of your computer. Every single day. There was not one day you didn’t think about business and making money online. I ask again what did you do?

I hate you. πŸ™„

No you hate yourself, not that small part with a brain.

Whatever. Okay… I was busy with learning and going through 3 different business opportunities from the ones I already knew. I watched those videos, tried to find and learn new information.

This is what I did, but before you yell at me. At least I didn’t pay anything to get access. Neither did I buy any upsells or offers from within the members areas. I mean in general in whole 2021 I didn’t buy anything apart from the course in January. Something to be proud of, hm?Β 

SURE! You can be proud of just wasting valuable time of your life, distracting yourself with different affiliate courses, not having any focus and procrastinating for one year. GOOD JOB. Great.

Ahhh fuck off.

What, am I not right?

Sure you are because you are perfect and never make any mistakes!

I do. The difference between us is that you are not learning from them. Instead, I have to have almost the same conversation with you as last year because you just keep repeating the pointless crap.

Anyway what happened to business opportunity 3?

After I procrastinated long enough the marketing funnel was closed down, the hype was over.

That must feel bad, another stupid hope of our mister super clever vanished in the online world.

What remains now?

Business opportunity 1.

Interesting you want to tell me that the only business opportunity that remains is the one you started with 2 years ago and instead of working your way to success with it you invested in other things that were supposed to serve all your dreams and hopes but destroyed them at the same time, disappeared from the scene after a few months and caused you to spent so many hours procrastinating and distracting yourself during this time instead of just working with what you had from the beginning in a focused way and building a successful online business with it do I understand that right?

As I previously told you: I hate you.

Hahahaha. For real what’s going on in your mind? Why did you waste all this time? What exactly is and was your problem to simply use what you had right from the beginning and following for ONCE the instructions that were given to you in Business 1?

I’m not sure..

LIAR! You are sure. Tell the world.

You are annoying me so incredibly hard do you know that?

Yes and it’s a lot of fun.

My God what can I tell you maybe because despite all these experiences I have made despite all these failed attempts and despite the fact of knowing that it doesn’t exist I still subconsciously had this unspeakable dream to make money fast and easy online.

And with business opportunity 1 I knew from the beginning relatively quickly that it would mean work even if it wasn’t that much work but it would mean work and yes I still don’t like working. I mean that was one of the shitty reasons why I wanted to make money online, to fucking work as little as possible!

And I assume into exactly this wound and into this subconscious dream all these marketing messages of other systems and programs stab exactly into? By propagating again and again so much money in so little time with so simple methods or?

Correct.

Even if these statements were now very honest of you and certainly a not to be underestimated influence factor of your stupidity, they are not the complete truth.

Since I am you but with a little more intelligence, I know that you already know due to all these experiences that you always have to work and put in work to be successful online.

You are not that stupid that you still have not understood that after all this time. That means there is something else that made you become a professional procrastinator. Tell us now.

I don’t know what you are talking about.

I’m talking about the fact that even though you have distracted yourself over the years with other programs/courses/systems to make money quickly, you haven’t really taken any action with them either for the most part.

Even there, instead of working extremely hard for them now, you procrastinated in some way almost every time. Why?

Probably because somehow I was never completely satisfied or convinced of anything.

We are slowly getting closer to the truth.

I am unable to commit 100% to anything because firstly I am afraid to fail and secondly I don’t know what will happen if I discover a new program that promises me again quick results with little work.

YES YES YES!!! NOW we are having it. After wasting so much money and time of your life with affiliate marketing and make money online courses you developed an extreme fear of committing to something and then failing even if you would put in the work.

Unfortunately true.

That’s why you don’t dare to fully approach business opportunity 1 because you are not only afraid of failing but also have developed irrational little fears of everything that is related to it.

What do you mean?

I have something else to do today, so I’ll just list here what your fucking problem is:

  • fear of decision for one traffic strategy and then realizing you don’t like to do it or want to do it anymore
  • fear of paying monthly for autoresponders and page builders without earning anything
  • fear of writing emails and nobody reads/opens them and nobody cares at all
  • fear of having a big email list, promoting products and not making any sales
  • fear of losing money with paid traffic and fear of wasting time by using “free” traffic
  • fear of showing people your blog where you documented how stupid you’ve been
  • fear of looking like a hypocrite when you recommend people products that didn’t produce obvious results for yourself (because unfortunately you’re a results motivated person yourself and never bought products online for pure education..)
  • fear of showing potential prospects your face or who you are and fear that family/friends find out about your online activities and laugh at you
  • fear of people realizing that your first language is not English and therefore do not resonate enough with you/ and don’t like your English and do not trust you

Okay, that was really nasty to write that here publicly just like that, thank you very much. πŸ˜’

Cry silently, you obviously need this once in a while.

Just because you tried one thing or another in the past and didn’t immediately generate a decent monthly income with your attempts and instead lost quite a bit of money mainly because of your pointless investments in other small courses, you’ve developed so much fear of taking action again these days that it’s almost sad to watch.

And that’s why you rethink everything and every step a thousand times and always find something in your thoughts that prevents you from finally starting and doing the right thing.

But can’t you understand it after all that has happened? After having done so much wrong in the last two years?

Of course I can understand that and everyone who reads this and was in a similar situation and that were many believe me can.

You just have to ask yourself if you can afford to throw away another year of your life because of your own fears.

You yourself have always claimed that you will never give up – you wrote that in some posts on your own blog.

You don’t seem to be aware that what you did this year, for example, was also a form of giving up.

I never wanted that..

Of course you didn’t want to but that’s exactly what you did and that’s exactly what you do and let me tell you something you are not the only person in this world with a dream and you are also not the only one who has extreme difficulties on his way up.

Look at almost every successful person who has made it to something. They all had a hard time in the beginning but you know what the difference between them and you is?

After they failed and believe me they did they got up again and kept going, failed again and kept going. They didn’t think about it for a year and distract themselves with something else like you did 2021 isn’t it like that?

How many hours alone did you put into pointless political topics, for example, and so on and so forth. All things that have robbed you of time.

Really successful people don’t do that they too have lots of fears but they take action anyway and they fail and try again then they fail again and try again and keep trying until they make it. They don’t jump from thing to thing they have real focus and a vision.

The difference between them and you is that they have iron discipline and an unbreakable will to make it. Where is yours?

Are you trying to make me cry today because if you keep this up you’re going to succeed..

It’s about time you stop feeling sorry for yourself and finally squeeze your butt cheeks together, how’s that?

Okay. 😐

Btw, does the list of your fears above look familiar?

Yes, of course, I have just recently created and listed it myself.

Why?

It was a homework assignment from Dean my mentor from business opportunity 1. We were asked to list factors that prevent us from becoming a successful super affiliate in 2022.

How did it come up?

I hope I’m not going to be beaten or yelled at by you again, but Dean and his team have presented a brand new, completely revised coaching concept for 2022, in which they want to take us by the hand and lead us to a fulltime income online through a lot of personal coaching and help.

The point is that this has cost something and I have actually invested a decent amount of money for it.

In preparation for what happens in 2022, there were these three preparatory coaching calls with this homework, for example.

You still have relatively little understood can that be?

Why? πŸ™„

Why should I yell at you or hit you for that now? That was a smart investment for a change. You still don’t seem to get what it’s about – it’s not about not spending money online.

It’s about what you spend your money on, whether it really makes sense for what you are currently doing and that was in the past with you just unfortunately very rarely the case because you usually already had something good and thought maybe there is an easier faster way and then spent money on some shit you idiot.

In this case here an investment in advanced coaching is the only real thing a crazy hopeless case like you needs to get shit done at all. That’s why outside help is more than needed.

Your way of praising someone is still depressing but thanks anyway.

However, there is still one tiny problem with the whole thing.

Who could have predicted this.

I would like to put this in a nicer way, but the problem is your incredible and unbelievable shittiness.

For someone who is supposedly so intelligent, however, you insult quite often.

I just have to adapt to my opposite. In addition you bring me also actually to the despair because what I wanted to say to you hereby is that although this investment is clever it will bring absolutely nothing and nothing will change if you do not change now finally.

I have already explained to you above how successful people approach things and I seriously wonder if you are capable of doing so.

One of your main problems in your ridiculous online life was that you invest money in things and then don’t take them seriously or work with them and it will be the same now with this coaching.

You have to be aware that even that will only bring something if you are focused, ask questions and try to solve your problems with the help that is offered to you instead of running away from your problems, from your fears and running away from yourself for another year.

I will try.

No not try, DO! And for that to really happen it starts with the very small things you need damn DISCIPLINE.

You need fixed times when you go to bed and when you get up and fixed times when you work ACTIVELY on your business WITHOUT distraction by some nonsense like your stupid cell phone! Get this finally under control!

It’s not like I haven’t tried this time and time again…

Yes, the time to just try things is now over my goodness.

There are no more excuses because as you can see from many of your members they earn thousands of dollars every month with the same help you get from Dean and Co.

That means you see what you have access to simply works now it’s your turn to make it work too!!

And unlike all your other business opportunities Dean and Co will not just disappear from the market no he is here for over 10 years and offers best support and best help everything you could wish for. You just have to finally grab it!

I swear to you if I have to lead such a pointless discussion with you again next year at this time and you are or were still such an incredible idiot then I completely FREAK OUT so please do me the favor and finally do the right thing.

Please I beg you downright.

Believe me, I have no desire to have such conversations with you either.

Despite all the negativity can I please also share that I’ve made more money this year with my side business on Fiverr than in all the years before?

Congratulations mister super clever. πŸ™ƒ

Joking aside that is exceptionally very good and you can be proud of yourself.

But you know as well as I do that this is still a relatively insignificant side income and the main focus should be on the discussed. Because this can change your life for real.

Sure. We finally done now?

What do you mean, are we finally done here? Do you think I enjoy this?

I only had to do this because you once again didn’t get along with your life. But anyway now, I really hope that you have understood even the slightest bit.

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So that was it another episode of Tobi vs Tobi.
Like last time, if you really want to understand what all this means, you’ll have to take the time to read it.

You won’t get a short summary from me now, because it’s in the text.

I think it’s never easy to be so brutal and honest with yourself but maybe it’s also important in this online world where everything is fake to try to be real for a change.

I wouldn’t have had this conversation if I knew I was the only person in the world who had these problems. I guess there are more people like me than I would like.

But who knows, in the end it is important to learn from the past.
That’s all I can think of, thanks for reading, thanks for taking the time.
Even if all this doesn’t apply to you at all, thank you and hopefully you don’t think too bad of me now.
I am just a simple man with a dream.
A simple man who mostly just stands in his own way.

-Tobi

Β 

PS: Feel free to share any thoughts about this in the comments. Thanks.

13 thoughts on “How fear of failure causes procrastination”

  1. Pingback: Millionaire In The Making

  2. Thank you for sharing your experience Tobi, I totally resonate and was hilarious at times reading your conversations! I have surely gone through the same experiences but in a different field, especially at the beginning when I did not know anything about the online world and would jump from one thing to another although I had a proven plan to follow! Consistency is the rule but some of us don’t like doing the same thing over and over for too long isn’t it? I hope you find balance within yourself and what you need to do to thrive. Wishing you the best!

    1. Hey, thanks Sonia, appreciate your comment πŸ™‚
      It’s crazy how we are all somehow a bit similar in our online approaches isn’t it?
      And yes absolutely consistency is key and hard to mantain in a world full of distractions.
      I wish I could say three months later that I found my balance completely but that would be simply a lie. I procrastinated again for a few weeks now lol. Don’t tell my other Tobi please.. He will slap me harder than what Will Smith did to Chris Rock at the Oscars..
      The good part about this is that I recently had a harsh conversation with myself again and now I am back at discipline Island with a plan of action to follow.
      All the best to you too!

  3. Pingback: 1 Simple Exercise To Stop Procrastinating Right NOW

  4. For some reason a quote from Dan Siegel popped into my mind after reading this:
    “Inviting our thoughts and feelings into awareness allows us to learn from them rather than be driven by them.”

    Seems like you have a cool way of doing that, but I hope Tobi and Tobi become friends in part 3. ;o)

    1. Haha thanks for your comment Kyla πŸ˜…
      yes we all hope that… but I am not sure… I don’t want to spoil anything but as of right now, I believe they will fight again in part 3 πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
      BUT BUT BUT the year is not over yet, there is light in the following months of 2022 πŸ‘€

  5. “Isn’t it totally pointless if you ask me these questions although you are me and therefore already know the answers?”

    Masterful Tobi. Part I & Part II – 2 Great Reads! Thank you so much for all the effort and honesty you’ve put in!

    The path is untrodden and brutal but we work our way through, sale by sale, blog post by blog post! I look forward to reading more and I can see there are more posts here.

    Thank you!

    1. Thank you Martin for taking your time and reading all of this πŸ™‚

      Yes, but unfortunately we ourselves – our belief systems, our minds, our actions once we are in front of the computer -are the ones that make it “brutal” am I right?

      Imagine what would happen if people who try to make money online and build a business would have just one possible opportunity and plan to move forward instead of 1 million other possible directions and distractions.. πŸ˜…

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